Christmas Confessions
by The-Missing-Paige
Summary: It's Christmas once again in Central, and for the first time in years Ed is back, celebrating with the team. Having him around once more is making it hard for Roy to ignore his feelings towards the younger man. The only question is, what will he do about that? Post Brotherhood.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, or any related characters.**

**Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Roy Mustang could scarcely believe what he was seeing. For perhaps the third time, he peered down at the sheet of paper in his hands, rereading the words as though if he didn't take them in again and again they'd just disappear. But they didn't. Two words stood out more than the others, a name he'd not tasted on his tongue in years. Edward Elric…

Shock had numbed his body, but now joy was flowing through in its place. Unable to help himself, Roy threw back his head and laughed. Edward Elric! According to this memo, he'd requested to rejoin Roy's team as a _consultant_. Leave it to Ed to find a way around being an ordinary soldier and skip straight to the fun stuff. It was frustrating to have just this official document; Roy was _dying_ to know just why the older Elric brother would be interested in rejoining the team after all this time. After all, he'd had plans to go off and research and travel. What, now, brought him back?

Well, there was only one way to find out. Without hesitation, Roy signed his name by a space near the bottom of the letter, next to the bold, "Approved." He'd just have to ask Edward in person.

* * *

What was more surprising than anything was just how much Ed looked the same as he had before. When last Roy had seen him, he'd grown tall and regained his arm, and he'd had a shit-eating grin. Edward stood before him, a mirror to the image in his head, smiling as he greeted everyone in the office. His hair was even longer than the last time Roy had seen it, pulled back in a ponytail reaching the small of his back. Mostly it was the clothes that were different; previously, Ed had favored that red coat or just a plain shirt. Now he was looking as respectable as anyone, in a button down and brown jacket. Though, Roy noticed with a smirk, his pants were still rather tighter than others may favor.

Finally, finally, Edward finished with his welcome from everyone else and he approached Roy. Golden eyes shining, he offered a hand. Batting it aside, Roy allowed himself a moment of levity and instead leaned inward to hug Ed. A small laugh sounded in his ear before they parted again. "Miss me, eh?"

"It's good to see you, Ed," Roy answered. Stepping to the side slightly, the gestured towards his office doorway. "We've got a lot to talk about."

Edward rolled his eyes but led the way. Once inside the doorway, he settled himself easily on the small sofa, lounging about as though he owned the place. Nothing had changed there, then.

"So," he asked, once Roy had sat down at his desk. "What's up?"

Briefly Roy was overcome with the surreal nature of this moment. He'd thought he may never even see Ed again, let alone in this setting. It made his chest feel tight, but he kept himself as composed as usual. "I was curious about what you've been up to, Edward, and why you decided to come back."

Ed shrugged. "A little of this, and a little of that."

Well, that was noncommittal. Roy tilted his head, confusion drawing his brows together. "Are you…okay? I expected tales of grand adventures."

A tiny snort escaped the younger man as he averted his gaze, instead staring out the window as he answered. "Grand adventures? That's all in the past, now. To be honest, I expected that too, but…"

Something wasn't quite right. Edward was usually talkative to the point of irritation. "Ed," Roy tried again, "what's going on?"

"I guess I can't just skip this part, huh?" Shaking his head, Edward went on without waiting for an answer, once again looking Roy in the eye. "It's been a weird couple of years. For one thing, I had to decide to give up trying to get my alchemy back."

"And why's that?"

"All my life, I've done nothing but chase a dream," Ed explained. "I wanted my mother back, then I wanted our bodies back, then I wanted my alchemy back. It took a long time to come to terms with it, but I realized it was time for me to start living my life instead of looking for solutions to problems that are honestly so minor. Al is whole and happy, I have my arm back, and I thought it was better to enjoy what I had rather than focus on something else I'd lost. It's just a vicious cycle and I was ready to get out."

Roy nodded, impressed by the strength it took to face something like that. "You've gotten wise, Ed. But I take it that's not all…?"

"No." Rolling his eyes, Edward chuckled at himself. "Look, this is going to sound super sappy, but here's the thing: Alphonse is in Xing, and he loves it over there. I stayed there for a time, but it…just wasn't for me. Not that I don't love Al, and I miss him, but he belongs over there in a way I don't. I tried being with Winry for a while, but we decided we were better as friends. And Risembool hasn't felt like home in a while. Really, the place I most felt I was meant to be was back here with the team. I don't want anything as crazy as before, but I missed the escapades we'd get into, and I missed all of you…so I thought I might as well come back like a good dog."

Unable to help himself, Roy laughed at the joke. Of course, Edward was a dog of the military no more, but it was good to see he still had a sense of humor. Ed had mellowed out a lot, it seemed, but he was still the same man Roy had missed all this time. "Well, we welcome you," Roy said. "I was curious, but I'm glad to have you back, Ed."

A surprisingly warm smile graced the older Elric's face. "I'm glad to be back, General."

Unexpected heat crossed Roy's cheeks, and he coughed to cover his expression. "Yes, well, you'd better get out there, then. I'm sure we can find some way to keep you busy."

Something in Edward's mirthful look told Roy he'd not been as successful as he'd hoped in hiding his flush, but no matter. With a simple wave, Ed made his exit, and Roy was left alone with his thoughts.

* * *

"Havoc, pass me that wreath!"

"You're going to run out of lights if you're not careful, Falman."

"If you don't hold this ladder I swear—"

Roy blinked as he stepped out of his office, into the turmoil that was Christmas decorating. Every year the team strung up their own lights and garlands, and every year it was a thoroughly noisy affair. He'd avoided the worst of it in then morning, but now it was afternoon, and everyone was still working hard. It was only fair that he assisted at least a little.

Luckily for his crafty side, Roy was presented immediately with an opportunity. On the opposite wall stood Edward, laughing loudly at the antics around him. He was dressed for labor, jacket discarded and sleeves rolled up. He'd even popped a couple of hit shirt buttons open. The younger man turned to his task—he was holding a green garland strung through with white berries and lights—only to find that he was unable to reach the hooks that had been placed high on the wall earlier.

Time to swoop in. "Ed! Let me help you with that."

There had been a time, once, when Edward would have bristled at the idea that he needed help with _anything_. Thankfully, he'd grown out of that, and he greeted Roy with an appreciative smile. Really, in the past couple of months since he'd rejoined the team, Ed had been quite pleasant towards him. It made it all that much easier for Roy's flirtatious comments to slip out, an occurrence that had become more and more frequent. Edward didn't seem to mind.

Now, he figured, was a great time to be mischievous once more. "It's got to go up there, yeah?" Roy asked, stopping to stand next to Ed.

A nod of confirmation. "Yep, except—I think Breda's just taken the last ladder. I'll have to wait."

"I could give you a boost," Roy suggested, eyeing Edward sideways to gauge his reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

"How," Ed asked dryly, "do you plan on doing that?"

"Well, you're still not too tall, you could sit on my shoulders." Roy said the words so nonchalantly, but inside his heart was racing.

Edward met his eyes curiously, as though he thought Roy was joking. Evidently his expression told Ed just how serious he was, because the younger man paused only a moment more before assenting. "Okay, then."

"Here, stand on this chair," Roy directed.

Doing just as he was instructed, Ed clambered up, muttering, "Y'know, I could just use—oh!" His protests were cut short by Roy slipping his head between Edward's legs and grasping his calves. Gently, he pulled the blonde backwards so that his thighs settled on Roy's shoulders. He felt stares on his back, but Roy was more than used to that. Besides, he was too intoxicated by the warmth on either side of his head to care.

"Steady, Ed?"

"Yeah, you weirdo, I'm fine. Just don't move."

Faintly, Roy could feel Edward placing and adjusting the garland. His abdomen brushed against the back of Roy's head, and he felt the thighs around his neck clenching ever so slightly. Maybe this had been a bad idea—he was beginning to feel altogether too warm.

Luckily—or unluckily, depending on how he looked at it—Ed was quick, and moments later he announced, "Alright, I'm done. Hold still, okay?" And with that, he shuffled on Roy's shoulders so that he could place his hands between Roy's head and his own thighs. Once satisfied with his grip, Edward swung his legs out and jumped down, disembarking with ease. "Thanks, Roy."

Startled, Roy turned to face the other man. He'd hardly ever heard his name come out of those lips, but it emboldened him so much he couldn't stop himself from pushing just a _bit_ further. "You know, Ed, technically that's mistletoe in the garland you just hung."

The words were a question and a bit of a challenge. Edward was never one to back down from something like that, but the smoothness with which he responded was nevertheless unexpected. Without a word and with a twinkle in his golden eyes, Ed looped his arms around Roy's shoulders—just as his thighs had been moments ago. And then he was kissing him.

This wasn't a quick peck, like Roy may have expected; it was a proper _kiss_, their bodies pressed together and _oh_, Edward's mouth was warm and wonderful and—

Gone. As quickly as it came, it was over. Ed had leaned back, his wrists still locked behind Roy's head as he winked. "Don't test me, General." And then, swift as a passing memory, he had turned to move onto the next stage of decorating, whatever that was.

He was the only one to do so; the rest of the office was silent, shell-shocked by what they'd all just witnessed. And all Roy could do was stand there as they resumed their activities, casting looks in his direction, unable to move lest he wake from whatever dream he was living.

* * *

The weeks passed by like a blur, and before Roy knew it, he was waking up in his house on Christmas morning. He'd been embarrassingly distracted all month, ever since the mistletoe thing…

Until then, Roy had been able to keep his affections for Edward to himself, more or less. He thought he could get on without having to act on them. But the kiss had been like a catalyst, and now…well, now he was beginning to think he wouldn't be able to think straight until he'd addressed his feelings. However, that was easier said than done.

Alone as he usually was on Christmas, having celebrated with the team the previous evening, Roy paced his home all day. It was a perfect holiday, with gentle flakes of snow floating past his windows. Everything about the weather and his little tree invited comfort and contentment, and yet Roy felt neither.

It was nearly night before he'd made his decision, but once he did, Roy was out the door within minutes. He had to do this while his mind was still made up.

Edward's apartment was a fair walk, and the whole way there Roy's reasonable side tried to talk himself out of this nonsense. But for once, his heart was winning out over his head, and soon enough Roy found himself at the younger man's door. Holding his breath—this was it—he knocked.

"Coming!" The answer was muffled and followed by the soft sound of mismatched footsteps on carpet. Then a lock unlatching. "Oh! General!" Ed's face in the doorway was bright, despite the surprise visitor. "Merry Christmas!"

Out of habit, more than anything, Roy returned the greeting. "Merry Christmas, Ed."

For a few moments, Edward stood, waiting for more. But Roy couldn't seem to speak; seeing the older Elric standing there, young and gorgeous and happy, was making it hard to think. "Uh, Roy? What can I do for you?"

Oh, yes. He should probably at least say _something_. "Um, Ed…do you mind coming for a walk with me?"

Edward raised one eyebrow. "Sure? You're acting weird—is everything alright?" Even as he asked the question, Ed grabbed a pair of boots that were resting by the door and yanked them on, along with a jacket.

"I just need to talk to you."

Without further question, Edward stepped out of his apartment, shutting the door behind him. "I hope we aren't going anywhere important? I'm in my pajamas, Roy."

He'd not even noticed! But indeed, Ed was clad only in his plaid lounge pants, a white shirt, and now a black coat and boots. Roy really needed to get a grip. "Just to the park," he decided.

"Okay."

Roy hadn't expected Edward to follow him with such little fuss; he must have really been acting strange to elicit such easy agreement from his companion. He just couldn't help it. Roy felt like he was about to jump into ice cold water.

In silence the duo walked down the streets, footsteps crunching in the gathering snow. The park wasn't far, and soon they were meandering between trees. Yellow streetlights illuminated the ground, causing the flagstones of the paths to sparkle under their icy covering. It was under one such light that Roy stopped, gazing at the flakes falling all around them.

"Ed, I've been thinking."

"About what?" Edward was standing close to him, hands stuffed into his pockets against the cold.

With a deep breath, Roy turned and looked Ed in the eye. In the darkness, with white snow littering his blonde hair, he was more beautiful than ever. "I've been alone for a long time," Roy began. "I know there's always gossip, but I haven't had an actual relationship in over a decade. Do you know why that is?"

"No…" Ed's eyes were curious, searching.

"It's because of my ambition. You know I want to become Fuhrer. I always thought I couldn't afford to be distracted by anything; my goals had to take precedence. And I thought I could do that. But lately…" His throat felt dry, like he was swallowing cotton, but Roy pushed onward. He was so nervous, he couldn't even feel the cold, anymore. "I know what I'm risking. A girlfriend would be distracting, but—well, if people knew I was into guys, that could destroy my career entirely. I want to do so much, but I also…I also…"

"Roy." Edward's voice was heartbreakingly gentle, and his hand snuck out to grab hold of Roy's own. "It's okay. Keep going."

Strength seemed to flow from their intertwined hands, giving Roy the boost he needed. "I now know that I can't keep ignoring how I feel. I've given my life for the military, and I've decided it's okay if I also do something for myself. If I'm going to be Fuhrer, I'll do so despite how I feel. Because I just can't keep pretending I _don't _feel this way about you, Ed. I fell for you way back when, and ever since you came back it's been impossible to ignore. Edward…I love you."

The wind picked up, then, pulling Ed's ponytail back. It whipped around behind him, but he seemed entirely unperturbed, with a smile so bright it rivaled the light above them. Once more, he pressed himself against Roy and their mouths met. This kiss was more tender, more full of emotion than their last, and it made Roy's head bubble like champagne. When Ed pulled away and looked up at him through black lashes, he knew he'd made the right decision.

"I love you too, Roy."

Hand in hand, they headed back to Edward's apartment, tracing their own footprints through the snow. This Christmas marked a new beginning for the both of them, and Roy couldn't be happier to get it started.


End file.
